In today’s rapid-paced life, we often tend to get so
busy that we forget our parents’ rights.
Family values have significantly dropped in our lives, and our friends
often become more important to us than our own relatives.What better can emphasize the good treatment of our
parents than the following verse from the Qur’an (interpretation of the
meaning) {And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him,
and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you,
say not to them (so much as) "Ugh" nor rebuke them, and speak to them
in honorable terms} [Qur'an Al-Israa 17:23]. There are two noteworthy
conclusions that may be noticed from this verse. First, Allah the Exalted has called for good treatment of
parents immediately after ordering us to worship Him. This proves the importance of being
kind to our parents and the elevated status in which Allah (SWT) has placed
parents in our lives. Second, He
has ordered us not to utter even the least of inappropriate comments to them;
thus it is very surprising that some people yell at their parents or even tell
them to shut up.Furthermore, when Allah's Messenger (may peace be
upon him) was asked which deed was the best, he replied: “The prayer at its
appointed hour”. He was asked: “Then what?”, to which he replied: “Kindness to
the parents”. Again he was asked: “Then
what?”. He replied: “Earnest
struggle (Jihad) in the cause of Allah [Muslim].”Whether or not you live with your parents, or if
both of them are still alive, here are some tips to a good relationship with
them:If you live with your parents
Bring something home every now and then. For example, buy them a gift or a cake
whenever you receive your paycheck.Make sure to spend time with them every day, whether
it be for reciting Qur’an or reading hadiths together, conducting household
chores, or just plain friendly talk.Take them out.
My mother is extremely happy when I go out for a walk with her.Obeying whatever they ask you to do, as long as it
complies with Islam.If you don’t live with your parents
Visit them regularly -- say once a week or every two
weeks.If you are unable to visit them often because you
live far away for example, then do the next best thing and call them frequently. Also, you may send them letters, and
don’t forget greeting cards on Islamic occasions (Ramadan, Eid, etc.)If one or both of your parents have passed away
In the authentic hadith, a man came to the Prophet
(may peace be upon him) and asked him whether he can do any good for his
parents after they passed away.
The Prophet (may peace be upon him) told him to do the following:·
Supplication and istighfar for them,·
Executing their will,·
Connecting with relatives that are likely to be cut
with the parents’ death, and·
Honoring their friendsIn another hadith, the Prophet (may peace be upon
him) also taught us that among the good deeds that benefit one who has passed
away is a ‘righteous son that supplicates for him/her.’Difficulties with parents
Reverts to Islam often tend to face difficulties
with their non-Muslim parents.
Likewise, Muslims who take up new acts of worship (such as growing a
beard or wearing niqab) might get into unpleasant situations with them. Although one should not abandon such
acts of worship in order to obey one’s parents, one should still retain a good
relationship with both parents and treat them kindly. Allah the Exalted has ordered us to obey our parents even if
they are non-Muslims – but, once again, as long as what they ask complies with
Islam. Conditions such as this
require a good deal of patience and can be considered opportunities to show
your parents that your newly-found beliefs have actually made you better and
closer to them.
Finally, I would like to close with the supplication
of prophet Ibrahim (may peace be upon him) as in the Qur’an (interpretation of
the meaning) {My Lord! Make me keep up prayer and from my offspring (too), O
our Lord, and accept my prayer: O our Lord! grant me protection and my parents
and the believers on the day when the reckoning shall come to pass} [Ibrahim
14:40-41]
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