Humility – A Quality of the Ideal

Allaah The Almighty describes the believers in their namesake chapter, Saying (what means):{Indeed, they who are apprehensive from fear of their Lord * And they who believe in the signs of their Lord *And they who do not associate anything with their Lord * And they who give what they give while their hearts are fearful because they will be returning to their Lord.}[Quran 23:57-60] One may wonder what it is that those believers fear, even though they hasten to do good deeds and seek to outdo others in that respect.
And yet, our amazement would increase when we consider the similar response of Prophets, may Allaah exalt their mention, when their intercession will be sought. The Prophet  related that, on the Day of Judgment, people “will go to Aadam (Adam)  and say, ‘O our father, ask for Paradise to be opened to us.’ He will say, ‘Did anything get you out of Paradise other than the sin of your father, Aadam? I am not in a position to [intercede]; you should go to my son Ibraaheem (Abraham)  the intimate friend of Allaah.' [But, when they will come to him], Ibraaheem will say, ‘I am not in a position to do that. Verily, I was but a far friend; you should approach Moosa (Moses)  to whom Allaah The Almighty spoke directly.’ They will go to Moosa, but he will say, ‘It is not my place; you should go to Jesus, the Word of Allaah and His Spirit.’ However, Jesus  will say, ‘I am not in a position to do that.’ Therefore, they will come to [me], Muhammad  and [I] will be permitted [to intercede].” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
This honorable response of the Prophets, may Allaah exalt their mention, during those momentous circumstances, indicates their continuous longing to increase in acts of worship and their tireless efforts to quit minor sins. This stance of theirs marks their keenness to perfect their servitude to Allaah The Almighty. What a sublime characteristic for a soul to always long for the loftiest of ranks! Such souls would never be satisfied with attaining a status lower than their abilities; that is why Abu Bakr  for instance, aimed to enter Paradise from all its gates.
What is humility?
Being humble is to be aware of one’s sins and feel regret for one’s shortcomings, as Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Lest a soul should say, "Oh [how great is] my regret over what I neglected in regard to Allaah}. [Quran 39: 56] And this characteristic of humility, increases with knowledge, as Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Only those fear Allaah, from among His servants, who have knowledge} [Quran 35:28].
To attain humility, one must reproach and endeavor to improve him/herself; indeed, Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {He has succeeded who purifies it [soul]} [Quran 91:9] It is such piety and sincerity that acceptance of good deeds is contingent on, as Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Surely Allaah [graciously] accepts only of the pious.}[Quran 5:28] Also, the Prophet  said, “The [acceptance of] deeds [is] dependent on the intentions, and a person will bear the consequences of what he [or she] intends…” Without piety and sincerity, the charity of the charitable, the knowledge of the reciters of the Quran and the martyrdom of the martyrs would be fruitless; moreover, those whose deeds lack devotion, will be the first to enter Hell.
Abu Ayyoob As-Sikhtiyaani  used to humbly say, “By Allaah, I cannot allege that I have a deed that I am certain that I have done sincerely”; Ath-Thahabi, another pious man, would concur. Similarly, Sulaymaan ibn Mahraan Al-’A‘mash  said, “By Allaah, I believe that I have become bleary eyed, because the devil urinates in my ears frequently.” This refers to the saying of the Prophet  who remarked that a man who sleeps all night long is one in whose ears Satan has urinated. What is amazing is that Sulaymaan  made that comment, even though he was keen on praying at night.
Being humble is to remember the Hereafter often, dislike worldly pleasures and be keen on attaining salvation. ‘Umar  used to say, “How could you forget the Quranic verse in which Allaah The Almighty [tells us what will be said to those entering Hell] (that means): {You exhausted your pleasures during your worldly life and enjoyed them}[Quran 46:20]?” He understood this also from the Prophet  who once asked him, “Are you not pleased with this division that they [i.e., the disbelievers] enjoy the luxuries of this life, and we reap the fruits of the Hereafter?”
And, it is of humbleness, to be fearful of, more than being hopeful about, that Day, and be certain of what will happen when {He may question the truthful about their truth} [Qur’an 33:8], {secrets will be put on trial} [Qur’an 86:9], and when every treacherous person would be known by a sign. On that Day, {their excuse will not benefit the wrongdoers and they will have the curse and the worst home} [Qur’an 40:52], and, {there will appear to them from Allaah The Exalted what they had not taken into account.}[Qur’an 39:47]. And, Allaah The Almighty will say to the wrongdoers (what means), {Remain despised therein [Hell] and do not speak to Me.} [Quran 23:108]
This is the true understanding of religion, because {no one feels secure from the plan of Allaah except the people of loss.} [Quran 7:99] Thus, Imaam Al-Bukhaari entitled a chapter of his book, Saheeh Al-Bukhaari, “The believer’s fear of having his deeds annulled, while being unaware”.
Ibraaheem At-Taymiyya  said, “I never compared my deeds to my words without fearing that I was a liar.” This was in the spirit of the Companions  as Ibn Abi Mulaykah  narrates that of the thirty of them that he had met, each one feared that he might be a hypocrite. None of them claimed to be as faithful as Jibreel (Gabriel)  and Mikaa’eel (Michael) .

Indeed, that was characteristic of believers, as Al-Hasan  said, that the hypocrites, on the other hand, felt safe from this worry. A Muslim must guard against insistence on hypocrisy and disobedience without repentance; Allaah The Almighty admires those, Saying (what means):{[who] do not persist in what they have done while they know.} [Quran 3:135]
Humility also requires of us to ally ourselves with the believers and be dutiful to them. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {And lower your wing to those who follow you of the believers.} [Quran 26:215]
• {And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life.} [Quran 18:28]
The people of Nooh (Noah)  foolishly said to him: {We do not see you but as a man like ourselves, and we do not see you followed except by those who are the lowest of us [and] at first suggestion.} [Quran 11:27] But, he refuted their allegation, saying: {And I am not one to drive away those who have believed. Indeed, they will meet their Lord, but I see that you are a people behaving ignorantly. * And O my people, who would protect me from Allaah if I drove them away? Then will you not be reminded? [..] Nor do I say of those upon whom your eyes look down that Allaah will never grant them any good. Allaah is most knowing of what is within their souls. Indeed, I would then be among the wrongdoers.} [Quran 11:29-31]
Further, humility necessitates good manners on the believer’s part, which manifests in his or her overall conduct. The Prophet  said, “Arrogance is denying the truth and the rights of others” ; he  also cautioned, “It is enough sin for a person to despise his Muslim brother.”
Hence, it is a religious obligation upon Muslims to act cordially with their fellow brothers and sisters in faith, such as by returning their greetings, assisting them in mounting their ride and meeting them with a cheerful countenance.
And, because they observed these etiquettes perfectly, the righteous predecessors were described by Allaah The Almighty as being “humble toward the believers” [Qur’an 5:54], and “merciful among themselves”[Qur’an 48:39]
Humility is also manifest in knowing one’s real worth among scholars and his or her value, in comparison to them. Shaykh Ali Al-Qaari said, “These days, [those who know little, but are respected as] scholars are many, because true knowledge has declined.”
Consider that the first ever to embrace Islam, Abu Bakr  humbly refused to lead the people in prayer, saying, “I could not lead the Prophet .” Also, the son-in-law of the Prophet  ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib  would say to his son Muhammad ibn Al-Hanafiyyah, “Your father is just one of the Muslims.”
Similarly, Al-Haafith Abu Al-Hajjaaj Al-Muzzi professed to ibn Al-Haadi, when the latter tested his retention of Hadeeth by jumbling their chains of narrators, “I am not qualified for such a test; Al-Bukhaari is.” Ibn Katheer remarked: “This answer was dearer to us than matching each Hadeeth to its chain of narrators.”
Also, when a man asked Al-Khateeb Al-Baghdaadi, “Are you Al-Haafith (a senior scholar of Hadeeth) and Al-Khateeb (the orator)?” He answered, “I am only Ahmad ibn ‘Ali ibn Thaabit; the last senior scholar of Hadeeth was Ad-Daaraqutni.”
The father of At-Taaj Al-Subky – At-Taqqiyy Al-Subky –  who was then the scholar of Daar Al-Ashrafiyyah, used to perform the night prayers where Imaam An-Nawawi  used to hold his classes. He would humbly wipe his face in the place where An-Nawawi  had stood, as an acknowledgement of the latter’s great role as a scholar.
Furthermore, humility is to show due respect towards Allaah The Almighty and thank Him for all that He has granted us. Allaah The Almighty praised His Prophet Ibraaheem  as he used to feel remorse for his sins and acts of disobedience.
A believing man is sharp and wise; he recognizes that he is but a servant of Allaah The Almighty; his deeds are created by Him, his success contingent on His decree and his progress is thanks to His guidance.
Thus, the slogan of the Companions  would be: “By Allaah, without Allaah we would have received no guidance, nor given in charity, nor prayed.” They learned this spirit from the Prophet  who said to ‘Aa’ishah  when she inquired why he stood in prayer for so long that his feet would swell: “Should I not be a grateful slave of Allaah?”
May Allaah have mercy upon Al-Junayd, who succinctly said, “True gratitude is to avoid using the blessings of Allaah The Almighty to disobey Him.”

White Lies: Are They Permissible?

Many take the permission of the Prophet  to lie in three exceptional cases in the wrong way as a justification for white lies. The Prophet  said: "A liar is not one who tries to bring reconciliation amongst people and speaks good (in order to avert dispute), or he conveys good." [Muslim]

Commenting on this Hadeeth, Ibn Shihaab, one of the transmitters, said that he has not heard that the exemption was granted with regard to the typical lies that people tell but in three cases: In war in order to cause reconciliation among people and in the narration of the words of the husband to his wife, and the narration of the words of a wife to her husband (in a euphemistic way in order to cause reconciliation between them).
Some may take this as a license to take truthfulness lightly and tell what they think to be white, harmless lies. The case is the opposite. What people misunderstand is the Arabic usage of the word `kadhib.' In particular in the Prophet's usage of it  `kadhib' means anything less than the complete truth, even if it is not a lie in our ordinary usage of the term. This becomes clear in the following Hadeeth narrated by Muslim:
The Prophet  said: "Ibraaheem  never `lied' except in three cases, two for Allaah, when he said [as an excuse when asked by his people to join them in celebration of their idols] `I am sick'; and [when they came back and asked who broke their idols, he said] `Rather, it was the biggest among them who did that.' And the third was about Saarah, and that was his saying: `When he asks you, say you are my sister, because you are my sister in Islam.' [Muslim]
Imaam an-Nawawi explains that these lies were "lies only with regard to the understanding of their immediate audience, but not in and of themselves." Ibraaheem  indeed was "sick" of their idol-worship, and his response that it was the biggest idol who broke the rest was simply a rhetorical ploy, which is not ordinarily considered a lie in our speech. For instance, when a friend sees you sipping on a cup of tea and asks, "What are you doing?" and you say: "What do you think? I am flying in the air"—that is not a lie, but a rhetorical expression to convey your annoyance. The Prophet Ibraaheem  made this clear in the third example by adding that Saarah was his sister "in Islam," for she, indeed, was. But the Prophet  still called it a lie because it was less than the whole truth.
The scholars of Islam agree, reports Imaam an-Nawawi, that a Muslim is permitted, indeed, required, to hide an innocent or wrongly persecuted person from oppressors, and if he must lie in this pursuit, he can. But even in such cases, lying should be avoided if possible. Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq the most truthful man of the ‘Ummah who accompanied the Prophet  on his flight to Madeenah, was accosted by an acquaintance of his who did not know the Prophet  by face but had probably heard of the Makkan search for him. He asked Abu Bakr  about his companion, to which Abu Bakr  said: "He is my guide. He shows me the way." Abu Bakr did not lie even in such dire circumstances, but simply equivocated.
The case of "lying" allowed for a husband speaking to his wife (or vice versa) is similar. When a wife asks her husband if he loves her or thinks she looks beautiful, the answer is not always clear even to the husband. Depending on his state of mind and their relationship, the woman who looks perfectly beautiful and loveable to him most of the time might look not so at the moment. Especially, when influenced by Satan's whispers, one's wife often looks less attractive than other women, even if the opposite is true.
Since the usual standard of truthfulness in Islam is so meticulous and high, the husband is allowed to say what pleases her or helps reconcile her heart, even if at that moment he does not feel exactly that way.
Saying that he loves his wife is likely in fact to recall in his mind what he loves about her and bring happiness and incite more love in her heart. Thus, the statements made to please one's spouse are not, strictly speaking, "lying" in our ordinary usage.
With this exception, lying to one's spouse in any other situation or any other way is as prohibited and despised as in any other. A relationship built on lies cannot last for very long, let alone be blessed with "mercy" and "love" that Allaah promises to place between spouses [Quran 30:21].
Finally, take the case of war. War is fought to overcome and often destroy the other side. But even in this situation, the rule in the Quran is to never deceive in principle. People often misunderstand what the Prophet  famously said, namely, that "War is khud'ah (stratagem)." Khud'ah is stratagem, a tactical maneuver to mislead the enemy. It is not treachery, deception, or breach of agreement, which would be khiyaanah, and Allaah emphatically prohibits that.
Allaah Almighty Says (what means): {If you fear treachery (khiyaana) from any group, openly throw back (their covenant) to them, (so as to be) on equal terms: for Allaah loves not the treacherous.} [Quran 8:58]
Imagine the level of integrity required, such that even when you fear the enemy's breach of treaty and attack, you do not simply unilaterally end the treaty and attack them, but, rather, let your enemy know that the treaty is over.
What the Quran and Hadeeth teach us is that the requirement in Islam of truthfulness and integrity is so high and the agreement between our outsides and insides must be so meticulous that even equivocation, telling half the truth, and evading the straightforward fact is termed as kadhib, a lie. Under normal circumstances, such differences between one's words and true feelings would be considered lying, but they are allowed in uniquely exceptional circumstances.